Whew, what a crazy year it has been! Let me just give a shout out to moms of multiple little ones. A whole new level of respect. Especially rambunctious little ones. It is so hard! It's hard when you're exhausted and nap schedules rarely ever align perfectly so that you can rest too. It's hard when your baby is still keeping you up half the night, and your toddler is ready to go, bright and early. It's hard when your older kids tell you they miss spending time with you. It's hard when you haven't been on a date with your hubby (alone, without diaper bags and multiple car seats) in 10+ months. It's hard when you feel like you've spent days trying to get the house tidied up, only to realize you haven't even been able to keep up with your toddler dragging things out behind you. And it's hard when you've served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner 3 times already this week. I do not always enjoy this phase.
What I do know is that my Heavenly Father is humbling me. There are a lot of layers of pride He has to peel away. I am not the supermom people think I am. I have 4 kids, and there are days when I'm so weary, I just cry. Then I put away my self-pity, get on my knees, and ask God to give me the strength, patience, and grace to get through the day. And He does. I desperately need Him, and He's reminding me of that. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you don't have to do it alone.
As hard as it can be sometimes, I love my family, and I know this was God's plan. These are the hard years. I know it gets easier, and when they are bigger, I will look back on this time and remember the good things. I won't think of the times when I scrubbed crayons off the walls, or mopped up toilet water, or picked up all the toys we've ever owned for the third time that day. I'll think of the cuddles and giggles. The sweet milestones, and the way J loves her "buddy" Levi. I will say, "Look how little and cute they were!" And I'll miss it. And they will be all grown up.
I do have an exciting update to share. We are finally moving forward with this adoption process. I just got a call that the parent's rights have been terminated. They have 30 days to appeal, which I don't think they will do. Once that happens, we will start the adoption process. So it looks like it could be finalized by the end of the summer. I can not wait to finally share pictures of our sweet little girl with you! While I've know for a while that this was the likely outcome, the realization that soon she will be ours, like officially, it's hard to wrap my mind around! I've always known she was the one. I just can't believe it's finally coming to a close. This has been a long 5 years, and our adoption journey is finally almost over!
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