Parenting Is Hard!

Sometimes I just feel like a bad mom. Do you ever feel that way? I always thought my parents had it all together, always knew how to handle every situation, and never second guessed themselves. Now I wonder if they fumbled through it like I'm doing. Half the time, I have no clue what to do, the other half of the time, I'm totally faking it. Maybe some of you mamas have it all figured out, but parenting for me is a bunch of trial and error. I struggle with being consistent, I yell at my kids to stop yelling. I tell them they can't have any more sugar because it's bad for them, as I lock myself in the pantry and scarf down a bag of M&Ms. You can't fault me on the last one. It's been a hard day, and there's only so many toddler tantrums you can take. It's either chocolate or vodka, and I'm nursing right now. I'm kidding. 

I try to be real with you guys. I am still learning as I go. I am dealing with several stages. I have Levi, my almost 8 month old, that's still waking up at nights, and teething. Seriously, he has four teeth that are literally about to pop through the gums.

And he's in that stage where he's whining unless I'm holding him. He won't sleep in his crib, and he won't sleep unless he's snuggled up with me. So by the time I get everyone else to bed, I'm still holding him half the night. I'm not wishing it away. He is seriously the best cuddler there is, but I need a break! 

Then there's Little Miss Independent. She's a feisty, strong-willed child. Every thing is a battle, from buckling her car seat, to washing her hair, to going potty. And I try to let her do these things for herself. After all, these are important life skills. But sometimes she can't quite do it, and she's mad and screaming in frustration, and I try to help, which makes it worse. Then throw in the fact that we're in a hurry. I was not ready for her to be potty trained, but here we are, and she was determined to do it. Now even going # 1 takes like 10 minutes. She sits on the potty and wants to play with the toilet paper and everything else besides go potty. Ain't nobody got time for that!

And from the older two, I'm dealing with attitudes, not wanting to be helpful, and constant sibling rivalry. If it weren't for my awesome new shampoo, I'd have no hair left! 😂 

 

I love my children with a fierceness! They make me crazy sometimes, and raising four kids is a lot of work, but this is one of the most important jobs in the world! These tiny humans are going to be the next generation. They will be the ones running the country, or working in hospitals to save lives, and most importantly, the ones responsible for sharing the good news of Jesus with the world. When I get tired and start to complain, I need to remind myself that I have little ones watching me. When I loose my temper, what am I teaching them about how to react to situations? Are they seeing me love and respect my husband? What about doing hard work without complaining because it's the job God gave me? Am I raising disciples for Christ?

Train up a child in the way he should go;
Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Parenting is hard. When I feel overwhelmed, I need to spend some time in my bible, and in prayer, with my savior. I can't do this alone. I am completely dependent on Him, and if I ask him for strength to get through the day, He gives it! I need His wisdom and patience to handle tough situations! I need Christ in every aspect of my life! Especially in parenting!

I'm No Supermom

Once again, I have to apologize for being so inconsistent. But, in my defense, I have 4 kids. Who has time to blog regularly?

Whew, what a crazy year it has been! Let me just give a shout out to moms of multiple little ones. A whole new level of respect. Especially rambunctious little ones. It is so hard! It's hard when you're exhausted and nap schedules rarely ever align perfectly so that you can rest too. It's hard when your baby is still keeping you up half the night, and your toddler is ready to go, bright and early. It's hard when your older kids tell you they miss spending time with you. It's hard when you haven't been on a date with your hubby (alone, without diaper bags and multiple car seats) in 10+ months. It's hard when you feel like you've spent days trying to get the house tidied up, only to realize you haven't even been able to keep up with your toddler dragging things out behind you. And it's hard when you've served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner 3 times already this week. I do not always enjoy this phase. 

What I do know is that my Heavenly Father is humbling me. There are a lot of layers of pride He has to peel away. I am not the supermom people think I am. I have 4 kids, and there are days when I'm so weary, I just cry. Then I put away my self-pity, get on my knees, and ask God to give me the strength, patience, and grace to get through the day. And He does. I desperately need Him, and He's reminding me of that. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you don't have to do it alone. 

As hard as it can be sometimes, I love my family, and I know this was God's plan. These are the hard years. I know it gets easier, and when they are bigger, I will look back on this time and remember the good things. I won't think of the times when I scrubbed crayons off the walls, or mopped up toilet water, or picked up all the toys we've ever owned for the third time that day. I'll think of the cuddles and giggles. The sweet milestones, and the way J loves her "buddy" Levi. I will say, "Look how little and cute they were!" And I'll miss it. And they will be all grown up. 

I do have an exciting update to share. We are finally moving forward with this adoption process. I just got a call that the parent's rights have been terminated. They have 30 days to appeal, which I don't think they will do. Once that happens, we will start the adoption process. So it looks like it could be finalized by the end of the summer. I can not wait to finally share pictures of our sweet little girl with you! While I've know for a while that this was the likely outcome, the realization that soon she will be ours, like officially, it's hard to wrap my mind around! I've always known she was the one. I just can't believe it's finally coming to a close. This has been a long 5 years, and our adoption journey is finally almost over!