Foster Parents

It's been a little over a month since we received disappointing news about the child we were pursuing. I still get sad when I think about it, but I'm eager to move on and finally get a placement. When we started the process for Victoria, we thought we were going to have to become fully licensed foster parents. After we started that process, we realized that that wasn't a requirement, but we decided to follow through with it. I'm glad we did, and maybe that was God's purpose in all of that.

We pretty much finished up everything we needed to do for that. We had to do all the paperwork from scratch, redo all of the fingerprints and background checks, and do several home study visits. The only thing we're waiting on is a form from the doctors that we already turned in, but somehow got misplaced. Once we turn that in, that will be the last of it, and our social worker will send our home study off so that hopefully we will become approved licensed foster parents. Once she sends it off, they have 50 days to make a decision, but hopefully it wont take that long.

Another neat thing was about half way through our MAPP classes (foster parenting training) we realized that one of our instructors lived in the next neighborhood over from us, had kids that went to our school, and her little boy was in Ryland's class! What a small world! It was nice to have that connection.

I really did learn a lot in our classes, and feel better prepared to parent an adopted child. I used to think my kiddos are turning out fine, we seem to have this parenting thing down okay. I hadn't considered that what these children have gone through affects the way they respond to everything. Normal parenting techniques might not work. These children might have some very extreme or unusual behaviors, and you can't focus on those behaviors, but rather figure out what need is not being met that could be causing those behaviors, and understanding what they're feeling.

For instance, if a child is hoarding food, that's a good indicator that they hadn't been adequately provided for, and maybe they are scared that you wont meet their basic needs either. So then how do you show that child that they don't need to worry about not getting enough food? By being patient with them, and constantly fulfilling that need until they can learn to trust you. Or if you get a child that was physically abused, and you spank your children. What type of message might that send them? We spank out of love, but do you think the child is going to see it that way? But if you spank your children, and use something different on the child, that also sends a message that the child is different because you're treating them differently. That's just a couple of different examples of things that I hadn't really thought about.

Anyways, I will definitely let you all know when we hear something. Please keep praying for us. This has been a long journey, and we're ready for it to be over!